Planning your wedding can be a lot of fun, but as most engaged couples find, there can also be a lot of pressure which may lead to stress as you strive to create your dream day while taking everyone else’s ideas and opinions into consideration. It’s important to remember that people are more important than the event, so spend time on your relationships during this time, after all, they will last a lot longer than your wedding.
The man/woman in the mirror
Outside of your relationship with God, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have. Before you can start working on relationships with others, you need to start with the person you see in the mirror. You are influenced more by what you think about yourself than by what anyone else thinks about you. You are an awesome, precious, one-of-a-kind treasure, so take care of yourself and you will have more to offer others.
Your relationships with your parents are the next most important. These are the formative relationships in your life. Your ability to relate to others – and the kind of person you’ve turned out to be – is largely wrapped up in the relationships you had with your mom and dad. As you become one with your partner, it’s important to embrace your new family. Spend time getting to know them and understand that your partner’s family dynamics are probably very different to yours. It may take time and effort, but it will be worth it, no matter what the complexities.
Life always begins with becoming rather than finding. Dating is not about finding the right person for your life. Marriage is not about finding the perfect man or woman. It’s about becoming the right person.
So we need to look at what it takes to be the kind of partner we want to have in our lives. First, we need to be sincere and not deceptive; a partner with no hidden agendas, not hypocritical or two-faced. We need to strive to be a person who doesn’t just tell others what they want to hear but speaks the truth.
Second, we need to be a partner who extinguishes evil and celebrates good. We do this by de-escalating conflict instead of fanning the flames of war. We speak the truth as we extend mercy and forgiveness. While we do not turn a blind eye to the truth, we assume the best of people and are ready to humbly work to restore relationships without thought of personal gain.
Third, we need to be a partner who is open-handed with our resources; someone who is willing to share and actively put the needs of the other person above our own. You will find there is much joy in giving.
Fourth, we need to be a partner who rises above the situation. We don’t have to show up to every fight in which we are invited to participate. We can choose to politely withdraw from conflict. There is freedom in not having to get even.
Fifth, we need to be a partner who is a peacemaker. We need to recognize that while we don’t have the power to change others, we can change ourselves. There may be times when we are not able to have peace with our partner, but we can have peace toward him/her. And if we are at peace with that person, then we are living free.
So, during your wedding planning and beyond, don’t neglect to spend time on your relationships with the important people in your lives and let them how much you appreciate them. Also, take time out during this busy planning time to be with your partner and get to know his/her dreams and expectations. Above all, focus on becoming the right person and you will find happiness as you spend your future together.